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Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Sally Kern to the Rescue, Again

Oh my, fellas, America is in such bad shape.  Terrorism, recession, unemployment, broken homes, the list just goes on and on.  Did you ever see such a mess in all your life?

But not to worry boys, God has appointed "a cultural warrior for Judeo-Christian values" to set everything right and make it good again:  Oklahoma's own Sally Kern, who is working night and day to restore America's greatness.

First, of course, you remember what she said last year is the absolute worst problem confronting the nation:  homosexuality is "the death knell" for this nation, and "the biggest threat . . . even more so than terrorism or Islam."

Then last summer, she and her fellow Bible-thumpers explained why your job disappeared, in the "Oklahoma Citizen's [sic] Proclamation for Morality":  "we believe our economic woes are consequences of our greater national moral crisis; and . . .  this nation has become a world leader in promoting abortion, pornography, same sex marriage, sex trafficking, divorce, illegitimate births, child abuse, and many other forms of debauchery . . . . " 

Now do you see?  It's got nothing to do with greed and crooked finance, bubba, not at all.  If you hadn't been looking at all them dirty pitchers on the Intertubes, Lehman Bros. would never have crashed, and we wouldn't be where we are now.  Shame on you.

But having delivered herself of this big bundle of righteousness, did Sally Kern rest from her labors?  Oh no, my friends.  Now she is on a crusade to save the institution of marriage by limiting the grounds for divorce.  Under a bill filed this week by Kern, Oklahoma judges would not be allowed to grant divorces for reasons of incompatibility if:
  • There are living minor children of the marriage;
  • The parties have been married 10 years or longer; or
  • Either party files a written objection to the granting of a divorce.
Of course, you could still get a divorce on account of adultery, abuse, abandonment, or impotence, but hey, it's a step in the righteous direction, ain't it grand?  God will be so pleased.  Oklahoma is going to be such a wonderful place when Sally gets done with it, I tell you what.

Hey, I just had a great thought:   Palin-Kern in 2012.  Oh lordy, just imagine what a great thing that would be for America, don't you think so, boys?


Jason Hughes said...

Well, whaddya know? One of them was dumb enough to propose it... Well, if they do want to protect the "sanctity" of marriage, I suppose it's only logical to such twisted minds as to start putting limits on how to end it...

I guess it is best to have minor children see their two miserable hetero parents stuck together until they're eighteen, then perhaps maybe they'll avoid getting married as well as blame themselves for their parents' continued misery...

Russ Manley said...

People like this would be glad to run your life for you right down to your shoelaces . . . .

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