Okay, so the truth is your job really, really sucks, and you aren't even being paid what you're worth. You live in, like, the most boring town ev-er, there's nothing to do, and even your best friends are mostly pretty boring too. Let's not even talk about all the freakin hassles from your weirded-out family. And OMG, you are like so fucking tired of going to the same old clubs week after week, seeing the same tired old queens, and all that boring shit. You do love to blog, but it's like, getting to be a real drag too, there's nothing to write about anymore. In fact, you hate to admit it, but your whole life, like, really sucks man. You're so bored with yourself, even beating off feels like a chore anymore.
You don't really believe in all that God shit either, but sometimes you just can't help thinking, Hey Big Dude, gimme a break here, will ya, I'm like, so totally bored with all this totally boring everyday shit and all these boring-ass people You stuck me with in my life.
Smile, child. Your prayer has been heard. Your dream job awaits, and man you would like, so totally fucking love it.
The government of the state of Queensland, Australia, wants somebody to live on tropical Hamilton Island in the Great Barrier Reef for a year. And blog about it. That's all.
Salary: $150,000 Australian (that's $103,000 American, or 70,000 pounds sterling).
Perks: Live rent-free in a three-bedroom villa. With pool.
Duties: Work 12 hours a month. Feed the tropical fish. Sort the mail for the island (population 5,000). Oh, and write a daily blog about your life there, with photo diaries and video updates.
No, I am totally not making this up. Swear to God. So like, get your totally boring ass in gear and apply.
And good luck. The Queensland government's servers have already crashed with the deluge of applications from all over the world.
Hmm, maybe you should say another little prayer. And this time, like, don't make it so fucking boring, buddy. Even God appreciates a little enthusiasm, ya know?
See the BBC News video here.
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