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Saturday, December 26, 2009

Your Questions Answered

My truckbuddy Dave poses the deep, essential questions of life that philosophers and poets have debated for centuries.  But not to worry, guys:  your Head Trucker has thunk long and hard about all this, and has come up with the definitive answers.  No thanks necessary, just glad to help out. 

Though if you just wanted to leave a 20 on the mantel before you go, I'd be much obliged. 

1. How to attract the attention of someone you are crushing on? It seems I've forgotten how to flirt, make friends, or otherwise engage other people.

Express a sincere interest in that person’s wellbeing, activities, and thoughts. Without expressing the slightest degree of pressure that your interest be returned; no expectations of “I like you this much, so you have to like me the same way.” Which is almost impossible to do if you are crushing on him.

2. What makes my blog interesting? The pics, writing, or something else? Anything you would like to suggest?

Speaking only for myself, your blog is lighthearted and gay fun, a quick read and cool pics. It makes me smile, which is no small thing in this world of woe.  It’s also interesting to hear about your life, your struggles and triumphs, which I think most guys over 40 can relate to.  What I would like to suggest can't be printed in a family blog.

3. Are bad people born or created? Do they know they are bad?

Answer 3A: Both. All human beings are a mixture of good and bad, we’re born that way: the human condition. Badness, when you boil it down to essentials, is selfishness (theologians call it Pride); every baby and toddler is extremely selfish, the center of the universe – he thinks. If you have good home training, you learn to think of others. The degree of badness in a grown-up increases, the more selfish you are.

Answer 3B: The badder you are, the gooder you think you are. The great saints are all very aware of their limitations, and admit them; evil people have no limits. Just like a baby, who will keep you awake all night just because he can.

4. How do you tell if someone is just being nice or friendly or really interested in you? Are there signs to watch for? Is it possible to move from friendship to romance and how?

When his hand is on your crotch, that’s a super good sign, Dave. Unless he’s just horny. The rest of your questions on this one – who the hell knows, it’s all a crap shoot, son. Go with the flow and deal with it. And don’t set your heart on anything until he puts a wedding ring on your finger. Up to that point, it’s all just talk and hormones and wishful thinking.  Come on, you’ve done the same, admit it. We all have.  It's only human.

5. Why is everything that is yummy and tasty, filled with so many calories?

Because among all His many other attributes, God is a great practical joker. And besides – “thin people are crunchy and dull, like carrots.” (Suzanne Britt)

Got questions of your own?  Write to Dear Russ, care of this blog.  For quicker response, include pictures.


Ultra Dave said...

Brilliant Russ! Thanks!

Word verification: lonsom

Sums it up nicely for me.

Russ Manley said...

I hear ya buddy. Hang in there. This too shall pass.

But there's something uncanny about these word verifs, ain't there?

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