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Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Last-Minute Man Gifts

Okay, so you've bought and wrapped the goodies for everyone on your list - except that adorable hunk o' man you're so damn crazy about.  What to do, what to do?  He's soooo hard to buy for, he already has like, everything!

Not to worry.  Here comes your Head Trucker to the rescue with these sure-fire last-minute ideas, any one of which is bound to raise a smile on your man's face . . . and that's not all. 

Number 1 - There's not a man alive, old or young, city or country, who doesn't appreciate a warm, fuzzy wool shirt in the wintertime.  A red one.  If not wool, then flannel or corduroy will do just fine.  Trust me on this, guys.

Number 2 - Whether he admits it or not, every man has a secret longing for a Swiss Army Knife.  You be the one to finally give him one, and see if he doesn't bust his jeans shirt buttons over it.  Doesn't have to be the big one with 99 different tools, either.  Simpler is better.

Number 3 - Another thing every man would love to have is a forehead flashlight.  Flashlights in general are always good man gifts, but this brilliant idea should have been thought of long ago.  Totally useful in all kinds of situations, indoor and out.

Number 4 - Any man would be glad to get an automatic tire inflator to keep in the truck or car, one that plugs into the cigarette lighter.  Some models come with flashing emergency lights too.  Extremely handy.

Number 5 - Loose, comfy lounge pants.  With pockets.  And a one-button fly.  Perfect.  A coordinating pocket T-shirt, comfortable for sleeping in (= one size bigger than he normally wears), would be icing on the cake.

Number 6 - If you honestly can't think of anything else, booze is always a good idea (if he's not a teetotaler).  Any or all of these would work for just about any man you care to name; the local liquor store can give you more suggestions, too.

Number 7 - If you live in cold country, some leather gloves and a Zippo handwarmer will keep your man warm and cozy for up to 12 hours at a time; and unlike the chemical things you can get nowadays, it's infinitely reusable.

Number 8 - A set of magnetic screwdrivers, flathead and phillips.  Or a cordless electric screwdriver.  Or a nice roomy portable toolbox.  Or, what every guy needs - truly - a laser level/stud finder.  Don't worry - it only works on studs in the wall, not anywhere else.

Number 9 - Did I mention cigars?  There's all kinds, all shapes, all sizes - but a fine Exacalibur by Hoyo de Monterrey says "Blow some my way" like no other.

Number 10 - Your cigar smoking stud will lick slobber tickle kiss you all over if you add an engraved Zippo lighter to make him look totally suave and Sean-Connery-ish when he lights up a nice maduro.

There ya go, boys.  Don't say you couldn't think of anything and fall back on the weasley gift card, that he'll probly lose, the big lug, before he ever gets to the store with it.  None of these gifts costs a whole lot - though it's not the price, but the love that goes into it, anyway - and they'll be remembered and appreciated a long, long time.  Starting on Christmas night . . . .   Grin.  Try it and see.


Ultra Dave said...

Makes me wish I had someone to buy for!

Jason Hughes said...

All my man wanted was movies and food... until he read you keep studs in your walls :) (Sounds so Edgar Allen...!)

Have a great Christmas, Russ!

Russ Manley said...

Dave - Damn, I knew I shoulda put my mailing address in this post . . . . Grin.

Jason - Yes, they're all hidden in the woodwork here, but will I let them out? . . . Nevermore. You fellas have a merry Xmas too, man.

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