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Thursday, November 26, 2009

All Good Boys Go to Hell

Truckbuddy FdeF has written a fine series of moving posts about the religious terrors and tortures of growing up gay in a hateful, homophobic church.  Your Head Trucker was never a Catholic but I was and am a sissy boy; FdeF sounds like my twin.  Go read

An excerpt:
Until then, being a sissy meant that I might be a failure in gym class but I could at least be a relatively good Catholic boy. Learn prayers in Latin, imitate the Saints, turn the other cheek. But it became more and more inescapable that who I was, was among the most despised, vile and hated of humans, to be rejected, not pitied. Who I was, deep inside, was a sin. It was not just my sexual release that was sinful; it was my very identity, my being, which was unforgivable.

My religion was singling me out, making me sit on the bench when everyone else was in the game. My religion may as well have been calling me a faggot and making damn certain that everyone knew it. I was unforgivable and pathetic. I could not not sin. I had only a vague sense of this fusion identity; it was like telling a lefty that it was a sin to do anything with the left hand and expecting him or her to be just like all the righties. This reality began to resonate to my very core, referencing every perception, experience, thought.
Can you relate?

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