Dan Savage: "We don't go looking for fights"

Queer author and columnist Dan Savage has posted a very insightful reply (emphasis mine) at Slog in response to the L.A. Times' editorial question, "Where were these marchers before the election?"

Gay people generally aren't the placard-waving, bomb-throwing, chaps-wearing, communion-wafer-stomping radicals we're made out to be by the Bills O'Reilly and Donohue. Most gays and lesbians are content to be left to alone; many gays and lesbians go out of their way to ignore political threats and political activism and political activists. Only when gays and lesbians are attacked—only after the fact—do gays and lesbians take to the streets. Remember: the Stonewall Riots were are a response to a particularly brutal and cruelly-timed (we'd just buried Judy!) police raid on a gay bar in New York City; ACT-UP and Queer Nation were a response not to the AIDS virus, but to a murderous indifference on the parts of the political and medical establishment that amounted to an attack.

Most gay people grow up desperately trying to pass, to blend in; most of us flee to cities where we can live our lives in relative peace and security. We don't go looking for fights. And most gay people walk around without realizing that they've internalized the dynamics of high school hells some of us barely survived: it's better to pass, to stay out of sight, to avoid making waves, lest you attract negative attention, lest you get bashed.

But once you get bashed, once someone else throws the first punch, then you fight back—what other choice do you have?

Gays and lesbians were active in the fight against Prop 8—thousands of us. But the great gay masses marching in the streets over the last week didn't perceive Prop 8 as an attack until after it was approved. Which was idiotic not just in hindsight but in foresight—lots of gay people were screaming bloody murder about Prop 8, and pouring money into the campaign, before the damn thing passed. So now we're in the streets—now when some would argue that it's too late. But as with past attacks that galvanized the gay community—Anita Bryant, Harvey Milk's murder, the AIDS epidemic, Don't Ask/Don't Tell, Matthew Shepard's murder—the energy will be harnessed, new leaders will emerge, and we will emerge stronger.

More from Savage on Prop 8 and related issues:

Savage makes great points, but it makes him - and our case - look bad to keep overtalking the other guy.

And how about Whoopi et al. on The View while we're at it: