Sunday Drive: Grace Happens

"Wherever You Are" by Mary Chapin Carpenter

Cody, 1998

My sweet cowboy

We met online ten years ago tonight. From a thousand miles away, his voice came through the wire like a warm rain, a familiar embrace, an old friend. A lifeline; I was sad and alone, drowning my sorrows and running out of gas on a dark and unfamiliar road. We both had loved and lost, tragically so; not much reason remained for going on.
 

But somehow, against all odds, we found each other in the darkness; we held on tight, and we never let go. Tonight, all those years ago, my life and his changed for better, for worse--forever. Oh yeah, we had our ins and outs like every couple; as my mama used to say, you have to take the bitter with the sweet--but the good parts were very, very good. We fit together, like a pair of comfortable old boots. After so many false starts, so many dead end roads, finally--finally--we found the way home.

We had five years together; a great loss, a big big hurt when he died, all unexpected. But some people never get that much. I'm glad we did.

So what was the point of all that? Perhaps just this: in a very needed way, it healed me, it healed him; two lost, lonely travelers pulled out of the bar ditch, put back on the pavement. Grace.

We were brought together in that time and place for a reason, no one can tell me different. How and why, I can't say, can't explain. All I know is this: grace happens. It just does, sometimes, some places, some people now and then, and that's all the theology I'm sure of anymore.

Grace happens. When and where are not of our choosing. Road maps and explanations not provided; we have to figure it out on our own, learn to enjoy the gift of this particular moment, every moment we are given in this short, short life. And give what you have to give, without holding back. With all your heart.

Even the smallest kindness counts. That's why you're there; to do that small deed of love, of grace.

Gratitude; gracias; grace. Something you just have to live through to understand.