In Memoriam: My Father

Circa 1965

Forty years ago today, my father died suddenly, tragically, unexpectedly.  He was 56.  I was 15.  Just barely beginning to know him as a person and not merely as Dad.

I'm just a year younger now than my father was. Strange to think. He would have been 96 now, had he lived so long.

I don't want to go into the story.  Just remembering now - and wondering about all that would or could or might have been different had he lived. 

Certainly it was very difficult growing into manhood an only child with no other father figures around, no uncles or brothers or cousins or anyone nearby to emulate.  Or care.  I felt that lack very deeply for many years. 

Lots of female relatives, and of course my darling Mama - but not a father.  There's just some real important stuff you can't learn from women, ya know what I mean fellas?

Eventually, at the end of high school I found a couple of butch buddies to more or less model myself after, which helped some.  I've always been grateful for what I learned from them, just by association.  But it's not the same thing. 


Rest in peace, Daddy.



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