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Saturday, October 16, 2010

In Memoriam: My Father

Circa 1965
Forty years ago today, my father died suddenly, tragically, unexpectedly.  He was 56.  I was 15.  Just barely beginning to know him as a person and not merely as Dad.

I'm just a year younger now than my father was. Strange to think. He would have been 96 now, had he lived so long.

I don't want to go into the story.  Just remembering now - and wondering about all that would or could or might have been different had he lived. 

Certainly it was very difficult growing into manhood an only child with no other father figures around, no uncles or brothers or cousins or anyone nearby to emulate.  Or care.  I felt that lack very deeply for many years. 

Lots of female relatives, and of course my darling Mama - but not a father.  There's just some real important stuff you can't learn from women, ya know what I mean fellas?

Eventually, at the end of high school I found a couple of butch buddies to more or less model myself after, which helped some.  I've always been grateful for what I learned from them, just by association.  But it's not the same thing. 

Rest in peace, Daddy.



hostess of the humble bungalow said...

Sounds like you were out there alone foraging for yourself...sad indeed...I hope that you had someone to help guide the way.

My father had a profound effect on me...as does my mother to this very day...

family has it's foibles and frailties...forgive and move on.

Hugs from the Hostess

Russ Manley said...

Just sharing and remembering, no advice needed now after these many long years - but thanks for the hugs, HB.

Tuesday's Cowboy said...

May his memory be for a blessing.

TomS said...

Thank you for sharing... Your memory is a profound reminder..

dave said...

Glad to share the remembrance with you.

Russ Manley said...

Thanks, guys.

txboyalone said...

I lost my dad in 1966, he was 57 and I was 17. You never get over missing them do you? We had great times together and even though he was not the kind of guy to hug you a lot you still always knew he loved you the way his eyes would sparkle when he talked with you.
Thanks for the memories. I need to tell my grand children what a great guy he was.

Russ Manley said...

I know what you mean, bud. Yes, tell your grandkids, and write those stories down, scan those old snapshots. One day, all we are left with is stories, they're important to share.

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