Why Marriage Matters

Roger Gorley and Allen Mansell

Roger Gorley, a gay man in Kansas City, Missouri, was arrested, handcuffed, and dragged away from his partner's hospital bed on Tuesday after the partner's family said they didn't want him there:



This can happen to you. Family wishes always trump visiting friends - and if you aren't married, at best you are just friends in the eyes of the law - at worst, mere strangers, even if you've lived together for years. And as you see here, even legal documents like power of attorney can be ignored at the whim of a functionary.

Nobody gives a fuck if you are lovers, or domestic partners, or "civil-unioned" - hell, they don't even know what that means. They barely know what marriage means, as witness the airheaded, dipshit blonde Fox newsreader referring to the two men as not legally being "man and wife."

But if you are married, then the police and the courts have to respect that. Marriage makes the two of you each other's next of kin. Nobody can muscle in between the two of you, or shove you aside. As I've said many times here on the Blue Truck, marriage is not really about who you love or what kind of wedding you have. It's all about protecting the two of you in your persons and your property, and having the equal respect and dignity of the law on your side.

And that matters a hell of a lot, boys.


Update: John Aravosis of Americablog has talked to Roger's 26-year-old daughter, who was in the hospital room at the time and says that it was the patient's brother who ordered his partner to leave; the nurse on duty ignored the express wishes of the patient himself:

Amanda says that the nurse had her father removed because of the loud disagreement her father was having with his partner’s brother, Lee, who had arrived at the hospital room at the same time as her father.

Rather than intervene and inform the brother that Roger was in fact the designated representative of his gay partner, the nurse had Roger removed. This, in spite of Allen reportedly saying from his hospital bed that he wanted his husband to stay in the room with him.

“Allen said he wanted dad in the room,” Amanda told me. “He said ‘I want him here’” as the nurse was asking Roger to leave.

When I asked Amanda if the nurse was possibly not aware of what the fight was about, Amanda responded: “She knew what was going on.”

Read the full exclusive interview here.


Update:  Further details on the story have come out during interviews with both Roger and his husband's brother, Lee Mansell: