Question: So like, what was the BFD about all that? Seems like nothing much happened. Can't you even post a pic of the two of you together?
Christian and Olli were characters in a German soap opera.We looked nothing like them, but the passion was the same.
That kind of love is the divine flame at its brightest and hottest.
It burns deep. It cuts to the quick. It penetrates and glorifies.
It melds and molds and fuses two hearts into one.
It's more than physical, more than thought
More than words and bodies
More than touching
More than feeling
It's knowing
It's home
To lose your other half is mortal agony.
If you survive, if blood and breath remain, then
You can live again, love again, laugh again.
But you will sometimes cry again.
Love will not let you go.
Fighting, yelling, kissing, crying, fucking, facing off:"Why'd it have to be you?" I said through my tears."Why'd it have to be you?" he replied through his.
But I'm okay today. I've reflected and processed a lot in the past week. Realized how far I've come, and how much stronger I am now.
And we've - how can I say this without sounding sappy? - well, I'll just say I know now that he's finally okay, and it's okay between us. I don't have to keep him locked out of my heart anymore, no longer have to bar the doors against his approach. The barb wire's down.
What's past is done, gone, forgiven on both sides. The war's over: peace has come. The hurt is gone. What was lost is found.
We're good again. Here again.
And that's a good way to start the new year: with a clear head, quiet heart, and gratitude for this happy life M.P. and I share. It's all good.
New Year's blessings and best wishes to all my truckbuddies.
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2 comments:
I can't say that "Leon & Frank" is exactly a soap opera and neither of us are particularly the "passionate kisser" type (which works for us) nor are we models of masculine form and physique...but perhaps passion mellows into a quieter kind of love (not saying we've stopped being intimate). I've had loves lost and loves unrequited for sure: each were very different from one another and from yours, so comparisons fail. Glad you have come to terms. Which does not mean forgetting or completely letting go...but owning in a somewhat different dimension. Best to you in the New Year, Russ.
Yes, at this late age passion mellows into quietude and contentment. Who's got the oomph for a Great Romance and all that drama, when just getting to the grocery store and back is a major trek? And then you've got to look the part, and -- oh, don't even ask!
Life has been a rocky road for me in many places. But despite all the hurts and losses I've been through, somehow I survived and now M.P. and I have a peaceful, happy life going for us. Not exactly all that either of us wished for - but it's enough. He's good to me, I think I'm good to him, and we're good for each other. I thank God every day for this great blessing.
And now with what I've been through the past few days, I'm reconciled with Husband #1 in my heart. A sorrow lifted - hard to explain, but I feel we have reconciled across the veil, and that's a good thing.
Here's wishing all the best to you and Leon too, good buddy!
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