Answer Desk: What We Had

Question:  So like, what was the BFD about all that?  Seems like nothing much happened.  Can't you even post a pic of the two of you together?

Answer:  This is what we had and lost:

 

Christian and Olli were characters in a German soap opera.  

We looked nothing like them, but the passion was the same.

That kind of love is the divine flame at its brightest and hottest.

It burns deep.  It cuts to the quick.  It penetrates and glorifies.

It melds and molds and fuses two hearts into one.  

It's more than physical, more than thought

More than words and bodies

More than touching 

More than feeling

It's knowing

It's home

To lose your other half is mortal agony.

If you survive, if blood and breath remain, then

You can live again, love again, laugh again.

But you will sometimes cry again.

Love will not let you go.

Fighting, yelling, kissing, crying, fucking, facing off:

"Why'd it have to be you?" I said through my tears.

"Why'd it have to be you?" he replied through his.

But I'm okay today. I've reflected and processed a lot in the past week. Realized how far I've come, and how much stronger I am now.  

And we've - how can I say this without sounding sappy? - well, I'll just say I know now that he's finally okay, and it's okay between us. I don't have to keep him locked out of my heart anymore, no longer have to bar the doors against his approach.  The barb wire's down.

What's past is done, gone, forgiven on both sides.  The war's over: peace has come.  The hurt is gone.  What was lost is found.

We're good again.  Here again.

Love is stronger than death.

And that's a good way to start the new year: with a clear head, quiet heart, and gratitude for this happy life M.P. and I share.  It's all good.

New Year's blessings and best wishes to all my truckbuddies.

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Waitin' for the Weekend

For all who love, have loved, or will love:

Sunday Drive: You've Got a Friend

Carole King, Celine Dion, Gloria Estefan, Shania Twain:




Watch the entire concert, also featuring Aretha Franklin and Mariah Carey, here.

Waitin' for the Weekend

Sunday Drive: From This Moment On

For all the happy couples in California, and everywhere, who at last can join two lives in one:

Lovelight: When You Kiss Me

What Shania sings about, I wish for every one of you, pardners . . . .



There's something I want, I need, to say here tonight, for what it's worth.  Something that's on my heart, stuff I believe in the depths of my being.  Maybe somebody out there needs to hear it, I don't know.  But here goes.

Don't ever let anyone - anyone - tell you that loving another man is "not in the service of life."

It's hate that kills.  Not love.  And it's real easy to tell the difference between the two.

Hate draws a line to keep people out. Love draws a circle to bring them in.

Remember this always:  Love is Life.  No matter who or how you love . . . when you do, you give them Life, and Life returns to you.  To love and be loved is what we were put here for.  There is no life apart from love. If you aren't loving, you aren't living.

And beyond that - God is Love.  A great mystery at the heart of all things.  More than we can understand.  But that's all you need to know right now.

When you love, and spend yourself upon another, you are the hands and face of God.  The word made flesh.  Light out of darkness.  Eternity in a heartbeat.  Solitude extinguished.

It's what you were born to do.  So get on with it.

Goodnight, guys.

Lovelight: When You Kiss Me

Shania Twain sings about that beautiful thing we all hope to find - or wish we had found.

I hope you find what you really want. Goodnight, fellas.