The Best Gift/El Mejor Regalo

A new Doritos commercial launched last month in Mexico - the dialogue is in Spanish with English subtitles.  You'll like this, fellas - have a tissue handy.

 

-----

Vito Russo's Our Time, Episode 5 - Parents

Nowadays, many among the younger generation may find it hard to believe that there was a time when gay people were rarely seen and never heard by most Americans, and coming out to your parents was a fearful thing requiring great courage. PFLAG was a great resource in those days, and although there was no local chapter where I lived, I did take my mom to hear and meet a guest speaker who came to my university campus about this point in time; though Mom was supportive of me from the get-go, I think it gave her a lot of reassurance to talk with another mother.

This episode, broadcast on WNYC-TV on March 2, 1983, is marred by some unfortunate skips in the videotape, which become less frequent as the episode proceeds.

Past and Present

A couple of clips of longtime gay couples that your Head Trucker stumbled across this week:

1. I remember reading in Life magazine way back when I was a scared, closeted high-schooler about this brave couple, Jack Baker and Michael McConnell, who actually dared to apply for a marriage license up in Minnesota in 1971, and then had the balls to take their case all the way to the U. S. Supreme Court, which refused to hear it "for want of a substantial federal question." And of course I've read about the case from time to time over the years since then - they are still living together happily and quietly up there in the North Star State - but never before have I seen a video of them. Here is an excerpt of their appearance on the David Susskind show in 1973:




Note for any of the children reading this post:  Mike, on the left, is sporting the totally cool, extremely fashionable shag haircut, which everybody who was hip at that moment in time had or wished they did - men and women, straight and gay.


2. The Economist this week republished a video about Gary Payne and Dick Dehn, who have been a committed couple for over 50 years, and as far as I can tell by googling around, are still going strong today in retirement in South Florida. The stories of couples who met in the 1950's and managed to survive all the homophobia and discrimination for decades are really touching:





And just to bring you boys up to date with our oh-so-modern world - or is it? - in today's news, Pope Francis has issued his first encyclical, Lumen Fidei (The Light of Faith), which was largely completed by Pope Benedict before he resigned earlier this year. In no uncertain terms, the Popes once again declare that marriage is strictly for procreation by one man and one woman.

So much for any hope of a new attitude by this Pope. In the eyes of the Catholic church, we are still sinners and evildoers, and quite unworthy of full human dignity, the equal respect and protection of the laws. Our loves, even if faithful, committed, for-better-for-worse, in-sickness-and-in-health, lasting for more than half a century, are merely unnatural, disordered passions oriented towards what is objectively evil, according to the official pronouncements of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops.  Chastity, friendship, and "holiness" are all that us homos can expect to have in life, and all we should want, they say.

It is encouraging to note, however, that three out of five of American Catholics disagree with the hierarchy - why they keep putting up with it is more than your Head Trucker can understand.

Or if you think you agree with the Church's teaching, here is a rapping priest to guide you in the way of truth and holy living - from Courage, the official Catholic (anti-) gay outfit that Justice Scalia's priest son, Paul Scalia, works with:




On the other hand, if you think it's all a crock, you will be deeply moved by this video of the Washington State parents who spoke at the recent - and last ever - Exodus International conference, and the story of how they prayed so hard not to have a gay son, and got what they prayed for. If you haven't got time to watch the whole video, the essence of the story is here.

Father and Son Bike for Equality

It's not uncommon to see moms who are advocates for their gay sons, and that is a fine thing. But dads speaking out and going public, well, that's a little rarer, if not actually astonishing to this old trucker, and it always touches my heart when it happens. As in this story of a father and son biking from Idaho to Texas to confront the Boy Scouts of America:

Republicans Blame Senator for Raising a Queer Son

Republican Senator Rob Portman of Ohio has become the first of his ilk to embrace marriage equality, after his 21-year-old son Will came out to him:



But as heartwarming as that story is . . . it seems that the rest of the Republican Party still hates you, you stupid faggot:



And don't forget that God hates you too, you dirty queer - you're fucking with his Big Electronic Plan for your life:

"So the Fuck What?" Sally Field Praises Gay Son at HRC Awards Dinner

I'd been wondering whatever happened to the delightful Sally Field; turns out she's been raising a gay son, Sam Greisman, and boy is she proud of the fact. Just listen to what she has to say about parenting a gay child "to be what nature intended" - and maybe keep a kleenex handy:

A Fighting Chance

An excerpt from a moving piece in the New York Times written by the father of Anthony Zarillo, one of the plaintiffs in Perry v. Brown, the Prop 8 case:

ONE of the worst days in my son’s life was in November 2008, when a majority of Californians voted in favor of Proposition 8, a ballot measure to change California law in a way that bans marriage for same-sex couples. None of us could believe something like that would pass in California. When it did, I wondered if Jeff and Paul would move from the place they loved and had called home for so long.

They didn’t, though. Nor did they accept the new law and try to blend in as I told Jeff to do all those years ago. Instead, they did something that’s made me as proud as I’ve ever been: they fought back.

Jeff and Paul and two women challenged the law in court, and in a landmark decision two years later, they won: Proposition 8 was declared unconstitutional by a judge in San Francisco. The proponents of Proposition 8 appealed, and Jeff and Paul won that, too.

The United States Court of Appeals recently declined to take up the case before a larger panel, which opened the door for it to head to the Supreme Court. Meanwhile, Jeff and Paul still can’t legally marry.

As this Father’s Day approached, all I could think about was how much I want my son to experience the joys of being a father, how much I want him to marry the person he loves and to raise a family.

For now, he is still waiting, and fighting. I see how much the struggle costs him, how discouraging it is that despite his strength and patience and faith in the system, the ultimate decision rests in the hands of those who have yet to act.

One day soon, though, the powers that be are going to do the right thing. I’m his father, and it’s Father’s Day, so let me believe it. One day soon they’re going to let my brave, beautiful boy walk the same path we all get to take home.

A Mother's Letter

William and Kate were married a year ago today in Westminster Abbey,
a moving and lovely event.  But when will it be our turn?

From the Church Times, a publication of the Church of England, comes this excerpt from a plaintive letter that shows how minds are changing:

As a committed, Bible-believing Chris­tian, I am ashamed and ap­palled by the debate about gay marriage. My views are not those of my son, who is gay and who is now an atheist, but result from some ten years of reading, prayer, dis­cussion, and serious thought.

My son came out at the age of 20, having spent much of his previous ten years knowing that he was not growing up to feel attracted to girls, but to boys. I don’t think he even knew the word “gay” at the be­ginning of this process, but he knew that he was growing up differently.

I am now convinced that homo­sexuality is a developmental condition that is not amenable to change at any psychological level; it is not a matter of choice; and is something that has caused many boys and girls to live in shame and fear from their early teens onwards. I know that my son had no access to other gay people through his adolescence, and that it was only at university that he was able to talk this through with hetero­sexual friends, finally coming to the conclusion that he was gay.

We, the Church, over centuries have perpetrated a great wickedness on these children and developing adults, forcing many to live by deceit, in failed heterosexual marriages, and even in an inability to form rela­tionships because of their own private hell.

At least the gay-rights cam­paigners have had the courage to stand up and work on some sort of social change. It is a pity that the Church did not do this in the first place. . . .

Yes, quite so.


Honk to Wounded Bird.

Grandparents for Marriage Equality

You know, guys, I'm getting really tired of hearing the mindless catchphrase "Religion ruins everything" bandied about, and another day I will rant more on that subject. For right now, I just want to say that religion can also help a lot of things get much better, as witness this short clip of the Rev. John and Dorothy Ruitan, married 70 years, grandparents of nine, including two gay grandsons - as they speak out for equal marriage.




Which, by the way, shows there is no reason to give your relations a pass on this subject just because you think "oh they are so old, they just can't get it." Nonsense. Of course they can. It's whether they want to get it, that's the question.

A Soldier's Legacy

Right now, what this community needs are heteros to show up on their behalf and say "Look, these are my people you're trying to discriminate against. You can keep your religion in your church, you can keep your ideologies in your home, but when it comes to the civil arena, when it comes to civil constructs, their citizenship is every bit as valid as yours or mine."

--Jeff Wilfahrt, father of the late Corporal Andrew Wilfahrt,
a gay soldier in the U. S. Army.

Read the Stars and Stripes article here:

"Soldier Leaves Legacy Much Larger than "He Was Gay"


Honk to Wounded Bird



Related:  Gay officer, companion look forward to repeal of "don't ask"

Don't Like Gay Marriage?

Honk to Joe.My.God.

God Still Hates You, Faggot

From an October 20 interview with Cardinal-designate Raymond Burke, telling Catholics they are obliged to vote in accordance with the teachings of their faith - and against all those intrinsically evil homos like you and me, bud:



And via David Mixner, from the I'm From Driftwood blog, here's the result of this kind of oh-so-holy teaching - decide for yourself who's being truly evil:





Also, listen to Dan Savage's description of the horrific beating his first boyfriend got as a young teen when he came out to his ultra-religious father, beginning at the 2:50 mark:



My late husband's first partner was likewise thrown out of his parents' house at age 16 and walked or hitchhiked all the way from northern Oklahoma to the home of a kindly aunt in New Orleans, with no money and his few belongings in a plastic garbage bag.

And these religious motherfuckers have the gall to say WE are intrincially evil?  What's wrong with this picture, I ask you.

It's not that religion is necessarily a bad thing - it's the monstrous, ignorant, self-righteous misuse of religion as a weapon of control that is evil.  Which human beings are awfully good at.


FYI, there was just as much discussion over the "naturalness" of homosex back among the ancient Greeks and Romans as there is today - the difference being, nobody back then had a Bible to beat people over the head with, so most folks just shrugged and minded their own business.

Until the Christians came to power.  One of these days, I'm going to write a nice big post about all that, but in the meantime I highly recommend Louis Crompton's monumental historical survey Homosexuality and Civilization, among others.

Marie Osmond: My Daughter's Gay, So What?

Some tabloids have suggested Marie was taking the hellfire-and-condemnation route with her lesbian daughter, but it just ain't so, I'm glad to hear:

I love my daughter, she's my baby girl. So what if she's gay. I think it's sad when we have to separate something from society. There are a lot of women out there who have gay children, who cares?

I want love. I'm a Christian, and Christ was that way - he loved everybody.

You go, Marie.

BTW - I remember watching her sing on TV as a little bitty girl. I'm thunderstruck to learn she has eight kids of her own now.

Where does the time go?