Growing up Gay in the Country (Australia)

A mini-documentary from Australia about Ivan, a gay man going back to his roots in the homophobic small town of Tumut, New South Wales, shot in 2014. Ivan and his husband married in 2013 during a one-week period when same-sex marriage was legal in the Australian Capital Territory (like our District of Columbia) in 2013.  The Australian Federal Parliament legalized same-sex marriage nationwide in December 2017.

The film may be set on the other side of the world, but it all seems very familiar, somehow.

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Gay Twins Discuss Being Bullied as Kids

I always wondered what it would be like to have a twin - but until now, it never occurred to me that you would both get bullied, though of course that's only to be expected if you're gay.  The goodlooking Lane twins - age and hometown not given - share their experience in this clip:

Love Is All You Need?

A powerful little film about a world where straight is gay, and gay is straight:

It Gets Better: Bishop Mark Hanson, ELCA

Ya know, guys, I'm very distressed with some of the well-known bloggers and other supposed representatives of the "gay community" whom I've noticed over the last several years have fallen into a pattern of bad-mouthing all Christians and all religion, often in highly profane and digusting ways. They do not speak for me, and I hope not for you.

By broadly lumping all believers into one class, without discriminating between the fantatics and the reasonable people of faith, these purported representatives of our cause are making themselves morally no better than the wild-eyed demagogues and bigots of the opposing side. They show themselves to be just as bigoted and just as tyrannical as their opponents, which disgusts me. The long, tragic history of humankind has shown times without number that it is but one small step from being oppressed to being an oppressor.

Religion is a human institution of many forms and varieties; and like all things human, is a mixture of good and evil. So are you and I, my friends. That is the human condition. It is up to us, individually and collectively, to discern the difference and to keep choosing the good whenever we can. Religion is and has been a great help to many, many millions of people in that way. Religion can also be misused as a weapon of oppression and ignorance, and should rightly be rebuked and condemned when it is; but the fanatical commenters amongst us do a great wrong when they ignore the power of faith to make people better human beings.

I could go on at some length here, but I think this video made by Bishop Mark Hanson of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America makes the point - for those who have ears to hear.

It Gets Better: NYPD

Not to be outdone by the Mounties, now New York's finest have produced their own It Gets Better video:



A couple of those cops are pretty woofable.

It Gets Better: The Mounties

After two weeks of constant internet trouble, the problem seems to have been fixed by a hunky bearish type whom the phone company sent to my house yesterday. Unfortunately, he was straight as a board, but he did seem to know what he was doing; so maybe this fix will last, though I'm keeping my fingers crossed against another lapse of connection.

Meanwhile, here's an It Gets Better video made by Canada's finest. Enjoy.

Suppose Your Yearbook Labeled You FAG

That's just what happened in 1970 to Robin Tomlin in Vancouver, British Columbia. Tomlin is not gay, but the intimidation kept him from attending his prom as well as his graduation. Now he's finally gotten an apology from the school board, 42 years later - but even that took some doing, since it was such a "difficult" decision for the board to make. CBC covers the story and a couple of other bullying cases up there in kinder, gentler Canada:

A Fighting Chance

An excerpt from a moving piece in the New York Times written by the father of Anthony Zarillo, one of the plaintiffs in Perry v. Brown, the Prop 8 case:

ONE of the worst days in my son’s life was in November 2008, when a majority of Californians voted in favor of Proposition 8, a ballot measure to change California law in a way that bans marriage for same-sex couples. None of us could believe something like that would pass in California. When it did, I wondered if Jeff and Paul would move from the place they loved and had called home for so long.

They didn’t, though. Nor did they accept the new law and try to blend in as I told Jeff to do all those years ago. Instead, they did something that’s made me as proud as I’ve ever been: they fought back.

Jeff and Paul and two women challenged the law in court, and in a landmark decision two years later, they won: Proposition 8 was declared unconstitutional by a judge in San Francisco. The proponents of Proposition 8 appealed, and Jeff and Paul won that, too.

The United States Court of Appeals recently declined to take up the case before a larger panel, which opened the door for it to head to the Supreme Court. Meanwhile, Jeff and Paul still can’t legally marry.

As this Father’s Day approached, all I could think about was how much I want my son to experience the joys of being a father, how much I want him to marry the person he loves and to raise a family.

For now, he is still waiting, and fighting. I see how much the struggle costs him, how discouraging it is that despite his strength and patience and faith in the system, the ultimate decision rests in the hands of those who have yet to act.

One day soon, though, the powers that be are going to do the right thing. I’m his father, and it’s Father’s Day, so let me believe it. One day soon they’re going to let my brave, beautiful boy walk the same path we all get to take home.

It Gets Better - San Francisco Police Department

Tyler Clementi's Brother Speaks Out

In an interview on Anderson Cooper's AC360:

"But I Had Mom and Dad"

Dan Savage is not without his flaws, but he is an articulate spokesman and brilliant performer when speaking on heartfelt topics like the need to reach gay youth through the It Gets Better Project. Earlier this year, Dan spoke at the Kessler Theater in Dallas on parents, religion, bullying, and LGBT kids (some parts NSFW):





He also spoke at Rhodes College in Memphis:

Continued after the jump . . .

It Gets Better: "I Was the Bully"

A moving account by J.T. in south New Jersey:

It Gets Better: Accountant, Judge, Marine

Some moving testimonies from the It Gets Better Project.  The first one particularly resonates with me; as I've blogged about, when I was in the middle of my college career, I thought I wanted to be a CPA, and Ernst & Ernst (as it was then known) was one of the major accounting firms that my university had an internship program with.  Like the guys and gals in this video, I too had a dream of making big bucks and even seeing the world by working at their overseas offices.  But it was not to be:  thirty-five years ago, I couldn't imagine how I would relate to my peers as the solitary (so I thought) queer in the corporate office, so I dropped out, and majored in something totally different. 

Which perhaps was for the best, after all; it allowed me to indulge my queer faggot homo expressive side a bit more than accounting ever would have. Still, it would have been better not to live in fear and isolation.  And to have a choice.

I also at various times thought quite seriously about becoming an attorney, like my father, and about joining the military, ditto.  But again, a large part of what held me back was the fear of being different, of not fitting in, of not measuring up - of being shunned, or bullied, or even beaten.  And I simply couldn't imagine - had no clue - that there could possibly have been others like me in the same fields, to pal around and find support with.  Videos like these might have made a profound difference in the direction my life's course followed.

All water under the bridge now.  But I'm so glad the young generation has more and better choices.

Ernst & Young employees:




Judge Angela Bradstreet:




Corporal Andrew Stevens, USMC:

Chris Colfer: "Screw That, Kids"

Dan Savage on Sex, Religion, and Bullying

An interview with Dan by a Chicago TV station at year's end:

It Gets Better: This Week's Faves

My God, how the world has changed in my lifetime.  Videos like this would have made a profound impression on me as a lonely gay teenager - this one is by staffers at White House - the White House, for God's sake:



And gay university presidents?  With their spouses?  Unthinkable back then, but yup:



And who could ever have imagined a gay softball team - in Austin, Texas?  A great message from the Gay World Series champs, who can beat the straight boys at their own game and make 'em like it:



Ditto from the San Francisco Track and Field Club:



At the other end of the scale, international drag queens have a fabulous message too:



An Eagle Scout says you can be true to your oath and be true to yourself too:



Adobe Systems employees say it got a lot better for them:



So do Etsy employees:



Asian-American kids catch a lot of flack from the parents but say don't let that hold you down:



Even way over on the other side of the world, it gets better in Singapore, too:



And even with ultra-conservative Catholic Republican parents, Chris Kelly says stick it out, it only gets better:




And to top it all off, this is not an IGB video, but you gotta hear this story from Hank Chen, which made your Head Trucker spew coffee all over the keyboard:

It Gets Better: This Week's Faves

EA employees:



D.C. Gay Flag Football League:



Lonely Planet employees:



TELUS employees:



Dow employees:



Civil Rights Division of the U.S. Department of Justice:



And for all you Whos out there in Whoville:

It Gets Better: More Gay Jocks

Awesome video from the Atlanta Bucks Rugby Football Club:



The Kansas City Carnivores:



The San Francisco Fog:



Front Runners New York:



And a couple weeks ago, I posted an It Gets Better video from the Boston FLAG flag football league, but here's one that shows off their, um, dance moves. Gotta love it:

It Gets Better - This Week's Faves

Thomas Roberts, MSNBC:



The University of Southern California:



Gay Men's Chorus of Washington, D.C.:



Tammy from rural Canada:



Cher and the cast of Burlesque:



Feather Boa Fathers:

It Gets Better: This Week's Faves

Not blogging much this week.  Just not in a mood to write.  There've been been several stories from Texas and around the country and the world that in a different mood I might have something to say about - but the holidays are not something I enjoy at this late age, for several good reasons.  And I just don't have the heart right now to blog about the various unhappy or hurtful or hateful things people have said or done.  I reckon you guys are keeping up with all that via the newsy blogs I link to in the side column, if you want to.

Mainly I'm just puttering around the house here, working on one little project or another, nothing worth mentioning.  No turkey day for me this week.  But the ex-roommate and I are going to get together next week for our monthly dinner, and he's a good cook so that will be nice.

Meanwhile, about all I can come up with to post are some well-done or noteworthy videos from the It Gets Better Project.  Times have changed, are changing, will change for the better - eventually.  Not sure how much more change I'll see in my lifetime, but here's my tiny contribution to hope.  All I can do for now.


The Honorable Joe Biden, Vice President of the United States:



The leader of Her Majesty's Government, the Right Honourable David Cameron:



Lance Corporal James Wharton of the British Army:



Specialist Drury, United States Army, Kandahar Air Base, Afghanistan:



Scott Zumwalt, of an illustrious American military family:



Boston's FLAG Flag Football League:



Employees of Pixar Animation Studios:



Andy and Jason, from Chicago:



Micah Jesse was bullied starting in preschool:



Students at Princeton University:



Sally Field and friends:




And finally, the Pop Luck Club proves that the impossible is . . . very possible after all: