In many ways, I came to understand the importance of fatherhood through its absence—both in my life and in the lives of others. I came to understand that the hole a man leaves when he abandons his responsibility to his children is one that no government can fill. We can do everything possible to provide good jobs and good schools and safe streets for our kids, but it will never be enough to fully make up the difference.
That is why we need fathers to step up, to realize that their job does not end at conception; that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child but the courage to raise one.
Chief Quartermaster John Lehnen, featured in this video, is the father of four special needs children.
I also came across this clip today from a new documentary about gay fatherhood, which seems appropriate to post today:
On a personal note: even though I knew definitely from the time I was 14 that I was gay, I still somehow wanted a child or two, a son especially - perhaps to redeem the mistakes that had been made in my parenting, but also because that desire to perpetuate the blood lies deep in us Southerners.
But 30 years ago, when I came out, it just didn't seem possible. Oh yes, even way back then we knew it was possible to get a child with a lesbian friend and a turkey baster, or some other strange method. But that didn't appeal to me, just having a child to say you had one, and one that somebody else would raise - what would be the point of that?
So I let that fond wish die out in my heart. Probably just as well; I might have been a rotten dad. But now that technology and culture have changed so much, I wonder what I would do if I were 20-something now. So much more is possible for the younger generation today than was possible for us back there in the late 70's.
How fortunate they are.
5 comments:
Why if you were 20 again? You still could. Maybe you should rethink.
Yes, one could - but not everything that can be done, should be done. I'm too old, too tired, too set in my ways now to be starting out from scratch with a little bundle of lightning, er, I mean joy . . . . I don't even want to housebreak another dog, let alone a b-a-b-y!
And, to put it your lingo, wouldn't this old graybearded sod look funny, pushing a pram and chatting up the other new mums on the park benches? They'd say such rude things behind my back.
Besides, I'm so very old-fashioned about these things, I really believe it takes two, which is one more than I've got to work with. But thanks for the encouraging thought, DP.
Oh.
As we might say here: poor old bugger!
Belated mega hairy muscle Daddy's Day hugs.
We are all daddies in our own way.
WOOF
Woof back at ya buff. I could get into being that kind of daddy . . .
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