Some Days

Woke up with a toothache that's been with me a few days, and will probably require some major dental work to fix. Got a bunch of bills to pay. The birds out back are eating up my tomato plants. The weather is so hot, it's exhausting just to go to the store and back. And yada, yada, yada. I know, I know, these are very minor complaints in the big scheme of things. I'm just in a real blah mood today. And my tooth hurts.

Some days, you just get really, really tired of hearing about all the foolishness in the world. Just scanning around on some of the news blogs, today I see there's been a shooter at the Holocaust Museum in D.C.; a pregnant woman, HIV+, jailed in Maine till her due date because the judge thinks that's the best way to protect her baby; some fundamentalist has smeared prayer and holy oil around the room where Sotomayor's confirmation hearing will take place; a Kentucky pastor is planning a guns-for-Jesus service at his church; Pat Robertson says most gay men are gay because they were molested by teachers and coaches as kids; and down in Austin, the cops tasered a 72-year-old granny during a traffic stop for using profanity and resisting arrest. I'm too lazy right now to add the URL's to all these stories, guess you guys can find them easily enuf if you want to.

Some days, you just wonder if there's any point in even speaking out about all the stupidity and cruelty in the world; because it seems so wide and so unstoppable. Like old King Canute stretching out his arm to stop the advance of the ocean tide; he did that to teach his followers a lesson. Guess you can google that up too if you want to read about it.

Some days, you just wonder if there's any point in giving a damn, because so many millions of other people don't. And you know from reading history that there never was a time when everybody was happy and contented and peaceable with their neighbors; we like to think there was a golden age back there somewhere in some Mayberry place, but there wasn't. Not ever.

Some days, you feel very small and inconsequential and totally useless in the scheme of things; just one grain of sand, not even a pebble, on the immense cosmic shore between time and eternity, a bit of dust blown by the winds of fate and circumstance to who knows where.

Some days, you can't even imagine escaping to a nice deserted island far from the madding crowd; because you know you'd be bored to tears, and miserable without the internet, Diet Coke, or air conditioning. Or even a studly native boy to keep you company.

Some days, you feel like a miserable old grouch. And then you glance in the mirror and realize you even look like a miserable old grouch. And you understand with a flash of recognition how all the other old geezer grumps you've known in your life got to be that way.

Some days, you look back over your life up to date and wonder what was that all about, because damned if you can see a point or purpose to it all, this tangled mess of hopes and wishes, frustrations and disappointments, all the good intentions gone haywire that brought you to this day.

Some days, it's better to just stay home, shut up, and not even wonder why life sucks so bad.

Some days, you feel very guilty for being such a whiner.

Some days, you just can't help it.

Some days, you wake up with a toothache . . . .