Joe Jervis: Why Pride?

Joe Jervis writes a moving post on why Pride matters; here's an excerpt, but go read the whole thing:

I'm not worried what the outside world thinks about the drag queens, the topless bulldaggers, or the nearly naked leatherfolk. It's OUR party, bitches. If you think that straight America would finally pull its homokinder to its star-spangled bosom once we put down that glitter gun, then you are seriously deluding yourself. Next year, if one of the Christian camera crews that show up to film our "debauched" celebrations happen to train their cameras on you, stop dancing. And start PRANCING.

All you suburban, lawn mowing, corpo-droid homos out there, hiding behind your picket fences, the ones wringing your hands and worrying that Pride ruins YOUR personal rep, listen up. Do you think that straight Americans worry that Mardi Gras damages international perception of American culture? America, land of the free, home of "Show Us Your Tits!"? They don't and neither should we. Our Pride celebrations are just our own unique version of Mardi Gras, only instead of throwing beads, we throw shade. No one has to ask US to show our tits. We've already got 'em out there, baby. And some of them are real. . . .

But sometimes I think we are the worst people in the entire world when it comes to standing up for each other. The gay people who'd like to soothe their personal image problems by selectively culling some of our children from Pride events? They disgust me. They appall me. They embarrass me. To them I say: the very road that YOU now have the privilege of swaggering upon was paved by those very queens and leather freaks that you complain about,as you practice your "masculine" and give us butch face. If you want to live in the house that THEY BUILT, you better act like you fucking know it. United we stand, you snide bitches. America's kulturkampf ain't gonna be solved by making flamboyant people go away.

I'll end this by making one final Jewish reference. Possibly you've heard the Jewish in-joke that sums up the meaning of all Jewish holidays? "They tried to kill us. We won. Let's eat." My Pride version?

They wish we were invisible.

We're not.

Let's dance.

Confession: Joe's post has made me stop and think and re-evaluate my attitude. All these many years I've been working on doing the straight-acting thing, at least around the straights. But has that gotten me an ounce more respect from them? Hell no.

I've told the story of what happened after my husband died, and how cold and cruel the treatment from the townfolk was; and God knows we were the most un-flamboyant gays like ever, in Wranglers and boots, cowboy hats and pickup trucks and country music on the radio. But that made no difference; as I discovered, we were still hated by a large part of the populace just as much as any drag queens would have been in that little town.

I remember about 30 years ago, a favorite aunt of mine once made the pointed remark, apropos of nothing, when I was visiting: "I don't mind what gay people do as long as they aren't flamboyant about it." I hadn't come out to her - I never did, she's dead now - and I always thought that was a coded remark: I love you, and I know you're gay, just don't show it or talk about it.

In other words, Lie to me, don't be yourself, I don't want to deal with that. But would she really have loved me any less if I had come out to her?

Do the haters really hate me any less for keeping silent and looking straight?

Joe's post has made me realize the answer to both questions is No.

In that case, fuck it. You might as well live your life the way you want to, then. Keeping up a big act, living a lie, doesn't make any difference about who loves you in the end.

Thanks for the epiphany, Joe.

Photo from a hate-filled rightwing blog that gave it the title

"A conquering army on the march."

I'm loving it, enlist me. Where can I get a uniform like that?

More armies like this and the world would be a much better place.