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Sunday, May 17, 2009

Lovelight: The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun rose in your eyes
And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave
To the dark and the endless skies, my love

And the first time ever I kissed your mouth
I felt the earth move in my hand
Like the trembling heart of a captive bird
That was there at my command, my love

And the first time ever I lay with you
I felt your heart so close to mine
And I knew our joy would fill the earth
And last till the end of time

The first time ever I saw your face

This moving song brings back so many memories: my senior year in high school, so lonely, so sad, so hungry for love. Friends that I loved, more than I should. A dark and terrible secret. A hunger, a thirst I had to hide way deep inside. Hide and protect from the crushing weight, the burden of all the condemnation I heard in church, for a love I knew was good and true and holy - shining there in the bottom of my soul.

You youngsters just don't know what it was like, growing up in a world without other gays. Only you. No one else.

It would have made all the difference to know I was not alone - today's young gay generation is so blessed to have these images of male love to look at, to dream on, to hope for.

Goodnight, fellas.


Ray's Cowboy said...

Russ, I know you try to be rough and all of that stuff. but deep down inside you are a romantic person. There may be a kink of you inside. I would like to meet you someday even only for coffee.

Russ Manley said...

Well of course I don't show all my parts here, Ray, just the ones that I want people to see. (Grin.) Other parts might not be so hot. It's a hobby to pass the time with, not a confessional.

But thanks for the interest in what you think you see. 'Preciate ya bud.

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