Contributed by my truckbuddy Tim from England, now resident in Spain:
Tim's Take on Spain:
Hirsute Pursuit, or Are Spanish Men Really Hairy?
First of all some bad news. I’m afraid our promised guide for this post, Iker Casillas pictured above, the much-loved Captain of the Spanish Football Team, has had an accident! Whilst assisting me in exhausting research the poor lad has suffered a painful RSI. (
Don’t you mean exhaustive? – Ed. No, I know what I mean! – Tim). Here he is, flat on his back again, but thankfully as cheerful as ever. And yes, he’s left-handed!
However, looking at poor Iker, I noticed that even when in hospital, he has an almost careless way of keeping his designer stubble and lustrous hair looking great. It’s all those grooming ads he does and also very typically Spanish.
There is an image abroad of the swarthy Latin lover, chest hair spilling out from his open shirt against which a large gold medallion nestles. The macho mullet, think Burt Reynolds in his early days, no, wait, he still looks like that! The pistol packing swarthy bandit, his white silk shirt carelessly unfastened to the navel exposing the thick, dark, rug below. Arms and legs so hairy they would make a gorilla blush. But is any of it true? Just how hairy are Spanish men? So I thought, let’s forget the countryside for a change and take a tour around the hairier parts of the Spanish male anatomy. A light-hearted and purely subjective look at some of my favourite destinations, based on many, many years of keen observation and personal fact finding.
In particular I shall concentrate on the 18-40 age group, think Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black . . .ooh, hold that thought! And whilst we’re travelling, we might find time for some general observations on Spanish culture and the male psyche in particular. Iker has arranged for young Carlos Villar to be our guide in his place. It’s difficult to find a single model to capture the look I want to show you. Iker, for example, is relatively hairless for a Spaniard. For the most part I think Carlos embodies the Hispanic look very well. See what you think when we finish our ride.
Now since its Christmas time and I’m feeling festive, I’ve written a special ode for the occasion, and before you start, I apologise beforehand to any and all poets!
Hairy Christmas
Oh, ‘tis the season to be jolly.
Come, enjoy my follicle folly.
Just like snow, the hair gel glistens,
and for a change the barber listens.
Sleigh bells ring and candles glimmer,
just be careful with that trimmer!
Log fires burn, and so does stubble,
waxing give you far less trouble.
And if your party is falling flat,
come warm your hands on my welcome mat!
Find your presents, come rain or hail.
Just remember to follow that treasure trail.
And as the Yuletide draws ever near,
How ‘bout singeing the hair in your ear?
So dye it or style it, just have a ball.
A Hairy Christmas to one and all!
© Timbo Productions 2013
We’ll start at the top and work our way down. No, I’m sorry, we can’t start in the middle, this is meant to be a travelogue you know, getting from A to Z. However, M’s pretty interesting and a good place to stop for a break! Seat belt fastened? Let’s go! Oh and by the way, I’ve put in some Spanish words for Nikolaos who’s learning the language -
Hola, qué tal Nikolaos?
Continued after the jump:
