A Very Long Engagement

On Netflix last night I came across a great documentary you fellas would probably like as much as I did.  Edie & Thea:  A Very Long Engagement is a love story spanning nearly half a century that does end happily ever after - what I suppose we all wish for but not all of us find.  Very well-told too, with lots of anecdotes and snapshots from across the decades.

The couple married in Toronto in 2007; but after Thea died in 2009, the feds hit her widow with a $363,000 tax bill on the proceeds of Thea's estate - relying on the Defense of Marriage Act -  a tax which straight married couples are exempt from.  Do you hear me, guys?  Whiny little pinheads who write articles about "Oh, the government should just get out of the marriage business," etc., are not dealing with the realities of life.  Marriage matters, a hell of a lot - in this and all kinds of ways.

Do you realize that no matter how long you have been together, if your partner dies without a proper will, you have no right to anything he owned?  Not so much as a teacup or a shirt button.  His parents or sibs or children can walk right into your house and haul everything away, and if the place was in his name, they can change the locks on the doors, set your ass right on the street - and not a fucking thing you can do about it.

And even if he did make a will and leave you something - be it a house, a car, money in the bank, whatever - because you are not legally married, all of that is counted as income to you, and subject to ordinary income tax just like your paycheck.  If your partner is killed in an accident or a crime, you can't sue the guilty party for damages.  In most states, if your partner was a schoolteacher or civil service worker, you can't collect from his state pension, nor can you always count on pension benefits from private employers, either.  And you certainly can't collect his Social Security or veteran's benefits.  Yet.

Now Edie is suing the feds for discrimination; Obama's Justice Department last February announced it would no longer defend DOMA in court, calling it unconstitutional.  So the Bipartisan Legal Advisory Group, a creation of House Republicans, is pressing on with the defense in this case.   The way the court rules will no doubt set a big precedent for future same-sex marriage cases on the federal level.

In the meantime, go watch Edie & Thea, which was filmed before Thea died.  A really great love story.  And yes, you will need a few kleenex before it's over.