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Wednesday, July 25, 2018

All About Grits

Grits are good, grits are fine. Grits are scrumptious any old time.
Grits are groovy, grits are great. Eat them up and lick the plate.

--Traditional Southern lullaby

For all you Yankee boys who don't know what's good, Southern Living's test kitchen director Robby Melvin stopped by the Blue Truck today to give you a quick lesson in fine dining.

And all you peckerwoods wearing out your intertubes a-worrying about climate change should be glad to hear that grits are eco-friendly:  they can be made with nothing more than rocks and water.  I'm telling you the Gospel truth!  Just looky here at this little fillum, and you might learn something:

What's that you ask? You say you want to know more about the goodness of grits? Well, then, go read "Why Southerners Must Know Their Grits" over at the Southern Living website.  That will tell you all you never knew you wanted to know about grits, and then some.  You might also be surprised to know that the Italian word for grits is polenta.  Well, almost.

But now listen to ol' Russ: you don't need to fool with all that high-falutin' history and technology and stuff.  (And do NOT even think about doing anything with lye - your grandma knew how, but the secret died with her.)  Just run yourself over to the store and grab you a round canister of quick 5-minute grits - any brand will do, and any color, too - yellow is prettier, but the standard white is just fine.

Now fellas, if you can boil water, you can make grits.  It's that doggone easy, I swear it is. Just follow the extremely simple directions on the package. In five minutes, if you have a lick of sense, you will have a steaming hot pot of perfect grits, and then you can commence to eating and enjoying one of God's greatest gifts to the South - and to the world.

Just add butter and black pepper, and ooooowheeeee! You got something good there, boys, for breakfast, dinner, supper, or midnight snack. Goes with anything and everything. Plumb delicious. You'll feel better and live longer, too. I tell you what.

What's that you say? You went to the store and they didn't have nary a box of grits to be found? Well sir, that's a mighty sad thing, yes indeed. And I feel just as sorry as I can for all you underprivileged folks living in the undeveloped world. I'll pray for you.

The preceding has been a public service announcement from Russ Manley and the Blue Truck Educational Trust.


Frank said...

Maybe it's just the word "grits" that makes it so unappetizing...like being caught in a sandstorm and having dust and sand in your teeth...now, "polenta" on the other hand....

Russ Manley said...

If you like polenta, you ought to love grits. Not gritty at all - smooth and creamy and oh so good. And then there's cheese grits, oh my!

Davis said...

And shrimp n grits...

Russ Manley said...

Oh yes indeedy! You have good taste.

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