That Picket Fence

A young gay couple chooses monogamy over an open relationship:

I’m not like that. Call it jealousy, call it insecurity, I simply couldn’t process being open. Both my partner and I come from stable, loving homes with heterosexual parents that have remained committed and monogamous. They, along with greater society, have taught us that this lifestyle brings the greatest deal of personal joy and emotional fulfillment. We have fully bought into the idea and don’t think ourselves narrow-minded for doing so. You could argue we are being blinded by societal norms rather than fully experiencing what we may carnally desire. That may even be true, but: we are happy. For us sex is still all of these things: a primal fit of passion of physical desire, an intense emotional intimacy, or just a way to release an unrelenting case of morning wood. I simply cannot imagine the man I love sharing himself in any of those ways and then returning to our bed after a shower.

We want what our parents have. Give us about thirty years and you might get an invite to our future son or daughter’s (most likely heterosexual) wedding. We’ll be in the front row: the proud Dads that still want only each other.

I call it maturity and character.

Anybody can be a dog, or a 14-year-old with an everlasting boner, whacking it at every opportunity with or without a partner. Even when they're past 60. It takes no talent, no self-respect, no commitment of any kind - just a hard-on.

If you can't be any other way, well, fine. Enjoy your life.

Just don't lie about it, starting with yourself - and don't mindfuck guys who want something that can't be found on every street corner.


See also: Being a Man Means Putting Others Before Yourself.

Comparing Notes

With somebody I used to know.
Today would have been our twentieth anniversary.


Yesterday, the ex-roommate wrote me with a new video he came across that speaks to the pain of love and loss and whatever that we have each been through in the past.  In some ways, our lives have paralleled each other's, so we can relate on all that heartache stuff and the craziness that follows.   But I'm a little bit whole lot country, he's a little bit rock 'n' roll - you know how that goes - so the song doesn't grab me the way it does him.  But I can appreciate what the young'uns are attempting to do there, and I am honestly impressed that three people can play one 12-string at the same time:  quite a feat, kudos to them.

I responded with a couple of songs I used to listen to over and over at a certain time in my life that caught my feelings then.  So here's all three, maybe if one of you guys needs a broken-heart song for some reason one lonely night, one of these will fill the bill.  

P.S. - Boys, listen to the old man here.  If ain't broke, don't fix it.  If it is broke, don't spend more than two weeks, max, crying in your beer.  Does you no damn good at all, and doesn't mean a thing to him.  Just turn the page and Move.Fucking.ON.

And don't look back.  Trust me on this, will ya guys?

Yeah, I Hear You

Honk to the Slabber.

Will You Still Need Me, Will You Still Feed Me?

The National Social Life, Health, and Aging Project - that's a mouthful - at the University of Chicago, sponsored by the National Institute on Aging has been researching all kinds of things about older Americans.  Ben Schott in the New York Times presents a table with some stats the project has released, based on a nationally representative sampling of over 3,000 American adults, and the figures are very interesting.

For example, here's the breakdown, with percentages, on same-sex partners for men.  First, those reporting "more than none":

Age 57-64:  3.3

Age 65-74:  4.7

Age 75-87:  2.4

And those reporting "more than two":

Age 57-64:  1.2

Age 65-74:  2.8

Age 75-87:  0.9

Hmm.  I'm no kind of statistician, but I wonder why the figures are higher in both cases for the 65-74 age group.  Any guesses, guys?

It's also to be noted that the survey mentions same-sex partners, not same-sex experiences.  I wonder what those figures would be.

How to Keep a Man

My good buddy Ray, of Ray's Cowboy, sent this along, and it's well worth sharing:



Damn good advice.  Take it from somebody who's been to the rodeo and back a few times.

But now boys, the flip side of the matter is this:  if it won't fit, don't force it.  Sometimes there's just nothing you can do to bridge the gap between his needs and yours.  Which makes both of you bitter and bitchy.  Good intentions alone won't cut it, so then you got to decide whether to pitch a tent or mosey along.

Anything else ya need to know, just ask Uncle Russ.