Today's Quote: Faith and Love

Life is both faith and love. Without faith, love is only one dimensional and incomplete. Faith helps you to overlook other people's shortcomings, and love them as they are. If you ask too much of any relationship, you can't help but be disappointed. But if you ask nothing, you can't be hurt or disappointed.

--Debbie Reynolds, 1964

What I Say:  There is much wisdom in what Debbie says here.  She ought to know:  she was married three times, and all of her marriages ended disastrously.  When asked about her husbands in later years, she would smile charmingly and say, "I have no taste in men."  Pretty much the same thing happened to Doris Day.  You'd think these two women, both beautiful, talented, and vivacious, admired by millions, would have easily found adoring husbands to love, honor, and cherish them.  But no -- Love can make fools of us all, whether pretty and popular, or not.

It's only the last sentence in Debbie's statement that I take issue with.  In the broadest sense, she is right, I have come to find out:  real love is about what you give to the other, not what you get.  But of course romantic love is only worth having if it is a two-way street.  There has to be a fundamental compatibility of wants and wishes, and a congruence of values, of how you live your lives together.  There must be give and take on both sides, so both parties get their needs met most of the time and both are happy with the relationship.  Get it all figured out before you commit yourselves, not after.

If  you can't work it out, compromise, adjust -- then let it go and just move on.  I learned this lesson at great cost.  Holding on will only make you crazy, and maybe kill you.  It's not worth it, no matter how great the romance.  Something better will come along in time, but first you have to get out of the hole of despair and pull yourself back together.  Trust me, brother -- when the ship of love sinks, save yourself.  There's a time to love, and a time to just let go. 

Real love doesn't hurt you, it helps you.

-----

These Old Broads

The weather report here in Texas at midnight last night.
I'm not making this up.

I think we could all use a little relief right now from the heat and horrors of the modern world, don't you?










You're welcome.

Sunday Drive: Good Morning

As performed by Gene Kelly, Debbie Reynolds, and Donald O'Connor in Singin' in the Rain (1952):

In Memoriam: Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher

This summer and fall, M.P. and I have enjoyed watching a number of old Debbie Reynolds movies, remembered from our childhood or newly discovered by us - and now we are saddened to learn of her death. The world's light has been dimmed by the loss of these two stars, mother and daughter, just a day apart.  May they rest in peace.



In this undated interview from ABC, Carrie talks about her admiration for her mother:



Last year, Debbie was awarded the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, but was unable to accept the award in person due to ill health:



Here's a poignant glimpse of Debbie as a glamorous young star and mother in a 1961 episode of This Is Your Life, with her children Carrie and Todd brought on at the end: