Blue Truck, Red State: Automotive Notes

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Automotive Notes

I. Driverless cars, the wave of the future? Oh please God, no.

Untitled from Amanda Erickson on Vimeo.

II. 101-year-old lady drives 81-year-old Packard:

Go granny, go granny, go granny go!

Honk to Wounded Bird.

6 comments:

Tim said...: I loved the comment "Have you lived in Plymouth all your life?" "No, not yet!" What an ammazing lady, long may she put her foot to the floor.; March 14, 2012 at 5:46 AM
Russ Manley said...: Yeah, she's a trip. And ya know, I know, I wonder if she's family . . . .; March 14, 2012 at 4:56 PM
Frank said...: Will cars of the future just decide to take a vacation to the Grand Canyon or Disney World all by themselves? I think I'll stick to driving them there myself.; March 16, 2012 at 6:53 AM
MommieDammit said...: Hello Russ, long time - no see and I'm sorry. Busy as hell, but if she can put so much energy into lovingly caring for that beauty... I'm ashamed of myself. THAT is an AUTOMOBILE, DAMMIT!
As for the "driverless cars" - as an I.T. professional, the thought scares me shitless. I know it's old, but anybody remember this joke?...
If Microsoft made cars

At a recent COMDEX, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five per cent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
12. Everytime GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.; March 16, 2012 at 7:01 PM
Russ Manley said...: I'm with you, Frank. You might start out just heading for the grocery store and end up in Gopher Gulch, Arizona, or something.

And God forbid they make flying ones. I don't even want to think about it . . . .; March 17, 2012 at 2:28 AM
Russ Manley said...: Good one, MD, and still applicable today if you update the tech terminology. I'd rather stick with grandma's Packard.; March 17, 2012 at 4:04 AM