Born This Way?

Dr. John Corvino, Chair of the Philosophy Department at Wayne State University in Detroit, with some provocative thoughts on the born-this-way question:




What I Say: Your Head Trucker has much respect for Dr. Corvino's brainpower, but it seems to me he approaches the issue much too academically here. Unlike some people I've known who claim they "just don't remember" their childhoods in any detail, my memories stretch back in one long, unbroken stream of consciousness to before my third birthday. Of course, some details have grown dim or passed beyond recovery as time has gone on, like the name of my fifth-grade teacher - but more significant ones are still quite clear in my mind. And I am here to tell you that I was most definitely a little gay boy by the time I was 4 years old, maybe even earlier, long before the least suspicion of sex had ever crossed my mind. It had nothing to do with sex - it had to do with how I thought and felt about the world, and about myself, and how I acted, all unconscious of straightness or gayness.

There is a gay nature - that's the best word I can think of to describe what I mean - a gay nature that is evident in most gay men (even though some of us have learned to keep it tamped down and tightly wrapped unless we are with very good friends) and in gay little boys too. And that nature was already going full blast in me by age 4, as I said: wanting a toy washing machine for my birthday, then a toy kitchen for the next one; playing dress-up with my mom's old skirts and slips, her makeup and jewelry; preferring to play jump rope with the girls instead of softball with the boys; or picking out clothes at the department store with my mom, and by some unbidden, untutored instinct recognizing that, oh yes the yellow shirt will look good with the brown shorts, and the pale blue shirt goes with the dark blue pants; all the while wishing I could have a pair of the frilly pink socks across the aisle in the girls' department; and on one particularly memorable occasion, looking up at the stars and making a wish that I would NOT grow up to be a man - like all those men I saw on TV, all the time getting into fistfights and gunfights, and generally being mean and violent and brutal.  What an awful thought!  I wanted no part of it.

Of course it wasn't until many years later that I was able to look back on all those attitudes and behaviors, and see them as precursors of my sexual orientation - but they were. I'm not a biologist or psychologist or geneticist, and I can't say for an absolute scientific certainty what the efficient cause of my gayness is or was - but regardless of the mechanism, it was already there in me at such a young age that it only seems right to say that I was born that way, and in fact I do believe that that gay nature is something that is inborn, regardless of how many genes are involved or what precise combinations of genes and environment and anything else that might have a bearing on it might be - I know it was all there in me and perfectly naturally expressed by me long before I had any clue about sexuality or gender roles or what was or wasn't socially acceptable.

(A side note: my dad died when I was in high school, so we never discussed the whole gay thing. But I was blessed to have a mom who was totally supportive when I came out to her at age 24, and we did talk about it sometimes. I even asked her why she and my dad let me do all those girly things - which I caught grief for from other little straight boys. Mama smiled and said she and my father just figured I was going through a "phase" and if left alone I would grow out of it eventually - I think that was Dr. Spock's advice she was going on. But I never thought to ask her if she saw any difference(s) in me as an infant, before I was up walking around and learning to talk. It would be very interesting to know - but there's no one now alive who can answer that question.)

This me has always been gay deep down inside, since the very beginnings of memory and consciousness. The philosophers and biologists and psychologists and all the rest can dice it up in their theories however they please, but not a word of all that changes the fact that my real self, my essence, my nature was what we call gay from the start, or at least from such an early point that it might as well be considered the start for all practical purposes. 

Most assuredly, I did not choose this nature, no more than I imagine any little straight boy has ever chosen his nature. It's just me. And always has been. The simple, pure, uncoerced truth that has always been in me - has always been me. Surely I'm not the only one who feels this way, am I fellas?

Where Does Morality Come From?

Dr. John Corvino is chair of the Philosophy Department at Wayne State University in Detroit.

Francis, Are You Listening?

I couldn't have said it better myself:  Frank Bruni, writing in the New York Times:

It was too much to hope that after the white smoke rose and the TV anchors began nervously filling time and the cameras lingered for what seemed an eternity on that balcony over St. Peter’s Square, the man who stepped onto it would be someone open to revisiting the most archaic, obsolete matters of Roman Catholic doctrine. The group electing him was assembled by the last two popes, both conservatives. Its choice was bound to be more carbon copy than new page.

But it’s not too much to hope that the man who did appear there — and who has lived a willfully humble material existence until now, and took the name of the poor’s patron saint — will change the church’s emphasis. That’s the great opportunity before Pope Francis, whose biography and style make him an ideal candidate to point the church toward a new conversation and a better focus for its spiritual energies. To have it dwell less in the bedroom, more in the soup kitchen.

It’s time for the church to stop talking so much about sex. It’s the perfect time, in fact.

It’s on matters of sexual morality that the church has lost much of its authority. And it’s on matters of sexual morality that it largely wastes its breath. By insisting on mandatory celibacy for a priesthood winnowed and sometimes warped by that, by opposing the use of contraceptives for birth control, by casting judgment on homosexuals and by decrying divorce while running something of an annulment mill, the church’s leaders have enraged and alienated Catholics whose common sense and whose experience of the real world tell them that none of that is wise, kind or necessary.

Tutu Speaks Truth to Power

In a letter to the editor of the New York Times:

I am deeply, deeply disturbed at the suggestion in “A Court to Vet Kill Lists” (news analysis, front page, Feb. 9) that possible judicial review of President Obama’s decisions to approve the targeted killing of suspected terrorists might be limited to the killings of American citizens.

Do the United States and its people really want to tell those of us who live in the rest of the world that our lives are not of the same value as yours? That President Obama can sign off on a decision to kill us with less worry about judicial scrutiny than if the target is an American? Would your Supreme Court really want to tell humankind that we, like the slave Dred Scott in the 19th century, are not as human as you are? I cannot believe it.

I used to say of apartheid that it dehumanized its perpetrators as much as, if not more than, its victims. Your response as a society to Osama bin Laden and his followers threatens to undermine your moral standards and your humanity.

DESMOND M. TUTU
Aboard MV Explorer, near Hong Kong
Feb. 11, 2013

The writer, winner of the 1984 Nobel Peace Prize, is archbishop emeritus of Cape Town.

See also this article in the New Yorker, "Torture and Obama's Drone Program":

Nick Gillespie suggested that liberals’ lesser outrage at Obama’s drones than Bush’s “enhanced interrogations” amounted to a kind of intellectual corruption. “This isn’t ultimately about ideological hypocrisy—of liberals changing their tune once their guy is in office—but something much more basic and much more disturbing. It reveals that for all their crowing about being watchdogs of all that is good and decent in society, when push comes to shove, too many journalists are ready and willing handmaidens to power—including the power to kill.”

And this article in the Miami Herald, "On Use of Drones, Obama Overreaches":

But in its memo, which surfaces as the Senate ponders confirming John Brennan as director of the CIA, the Justice Department says its definition of “imminent threat” doesn’t require “clear evidence that a specific attack on U.S. persons and interests will take place in the immediate future.”

In other words, “imminent” doesn’t mean “imminent.” And if U.S. intelligence — which we all know is infallible, right? — determines you to be a member of al Qaida, that determination, absent any evidence of a planned attack, gives the government the legal pretext to vaporize you. Worse, the government contends this may be done without oversight, judicial or otherwise. The president becomes, quite literally, your judge, jury and executioner.

Cf. Targeted killing - and for a further thrill, National security letter.

And this chart. And this quote.

There is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not.

--Ecclesiastes 7:20

Honk to Mimi, who first posted Tutu's letter on her blog.

Time and Again

Socrates:

For I do nothing but go about persuading you all, old and young alike, not to take thought for your persons and your properties, but first and chiefly to care about the greatest improvement of the soul. I tell you that virtue is not given by money, but that from virtue come money and every other good of man, public as well as private. . . . The unexamined life is not worth living.

Buddha:

One should seek for others the happiness one desires for himself. . . . Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.

Confucius:

Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself.

Micah:

He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?

Hillel:

That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow. That is the whole Torah; the rest is the explanation; go and learn.

Mohammed:

As you would have people do to you, do to them; and what you dislike to be done to you, don't do to them.

Jesus:

And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise. . . . Love your neighbor as yourself.

Rupert Murdoch:

The News of the World phone hacking scandal, which has heaped such disgrace not just on the paper but on Murdoch himself, making him the object of an entire nation’s disgust and anger, is at once inexplicable and predictable. On the one hand, reporters who work at pressure-packed scandal sheets quickly become inured to crossing lines and destroying lives; it’s what they do. On the other hand, it’s still hard to believe that not a single reporter or editor at The News of the World had the sense to realize that tapping into the cellphone of a murdered teenager was deeply wrong — no matter how many great scoops resulted. That, however, appears to be the case. The Murdoch culture had stripped them of their conscience. . . .

Most people outgrow their twentysomething selves. As they age, they realize that the impulses and excitements of youth need to be tempered with the judgment, empathy and caution that come with maturity. They get a better feel for the lines that ought not to be crossed. Journalists, in particular, learn that there are stories that ought not to be pursued. Not every scoop is worth it.

Murdoch’s essential problem is that he never grew up. His instincts as a journalist are the same as when he was 22. “I love competition,” he said at the end of that Esquire interview. “And I want to win.”

A little too much, it turns out.

(--Joe Nocera in the New York Times)

The Moral Roots of Liberals and Conservatives

My good buddy M. Pierre sent this along.  Which does explain a lot.



Do you agree, guys?

Bad Boys and Nice Guys

An intriguing interview with George Michael in the Guardian that includes his observations on his well-known reputation for sex, drugs, and rock and roll, so to speak:

"The handful of times a year it's bloody warm enough, I'll do it [go cruising]. I'll do it on a nice summer evening. Quite often there are campfires up there. It's a much nicer place to get some quick and honest sex than standing in a bar; E'd off your tits shouting at somebody and hoping they want the same thing as you do in bed. . . . "

Why does he like to cruise when he could get any man he wanted? He seems astonished by the question. "I do get anyone I want. But I like a bit of everything. I have friends up there, I have a laugh."

"There are things I need to resolve. . . .  it's great to know that at 46 I'm still very much a changing person. . . .  Most visible traces of self-loathing have gone. . . .  I'm surprised that I've survived my own dysfunction, really."

One thing you have to say about George:  at least he's honest.  Which is a lot more than I can say about a lot of men I've known.

And there is something to be said for living your life on your own terms, instead of being a perpetual slave to what other people think.  If you're not hurting someone else, well, it's your life to live, right?  And as long as you are willing to accept the consequences of what you do - then you're free to do whatever you want.  One of my mother's favorite sayings was, "Rules are made to be broken."  I guess that's where I get it from.

Although of course, a very wise man once said very much the same thing:  "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath."  Which I take to mean, in essence, what my mother meant: 

It's good to follow the rules only so far as the rules are good for people; but following the rules is not the be-all and end-all of life.  If the rules squeeze the life out of you, or interfere unreasonably with people's right to the pursuit of happiness, well then, the rules should be ignored because they are bad rules.  That's not a license to cheat, steal, or kill, of course - just healthy, humane common sense.

So your Head Trucker, who is fiercely proud of his own independence and freedom, can appreciate and even admire George's brazenness to a certain extent.

Perhaps that's why it's the bad boys that everybody always wants, not the nice guys - and you fellas know what I'm talking about, don't you?  Perhaps at some subconscious level, people are drawn to that freedom, that self-confidence, that daring and courage to defy the rules - something not everyone possesses.  Despite what they may say, most people most of the time are pretty timid about coloring outside the lines.

Maybe the answer to this question I've debated in my mind over the years is that people are drawn to someone who has a certain quality, a reckless bravery, that they lack but wish they had.  Opposites attract, isn't that always the way?

Hell, even I can sense the slight tug of attraction there, the undertow in the vicinity of some bad boy types.  Although your Head Trucker has always had too much independence of his own and too much horse sense than to get seriously involved with someone who was seriously bad.  Middling bad has always been as much as I could stand.  Besides, I like peace and quiet when I come home at night, supper on the stove, light and warmth and security.  Not craziness.  Well, not too much, anyway.  We all get a little crazy now and then, don't we?  Grin.

I will tell you a funny story, and I mean funny-peculiar:  a while back I posted some pics in the Toolbox of a legendary porn star, the late Jon King, who was one of my favorites from way back.  While searching for pics, I came across a little bio of him, which included the fact that he once stole a Corvette, at the height of his porn fame, and spent a year in jail for that, something I'd never known.

And damned if the very next thought that popped into my groin head wasn't, Damn, he's hot.

Which is just simply and utterly stupidity.  I was really astonished at my own reaction.  And indeed, the next thought that followed that one by about half a second was, You dumb motherfucker, Jon, what a waste of your time and talent.  And the little bio noted that he never would talk much about his time in prison, which apparently was not any kind of fun at all.

But you know, lots of people never get to that second thought; and thereby hangs many a tale of woe for them and their admirers.  It's that thinking about, and weighing of, the consequences that separates the bad boys from the nice guys:  If you can't do the time, don't do the crime.  That good sense doesn't get you many dates; but at least you get to sleep in your own bed every night, which is no small blessing.

Back to George:  I'm like the interviewer, at first glance I'm truly astonished and puzzled that this breathtakingly handsome guy, world-famous rock star, filthy rich, idolized by millions, who can have any fucking man he wants just by nodding his head - why would he want to spend his free time cruising for anonymous sex in parks and toilets, and doing every kind of dope imaginable:  not a class act, but a lowlife one.  Not at all how your Head Trucker would envision living, if he had all that.  I'd still want to come home to supper on the stove, a faithful dog curled by the fire, and one good man in my bed.

But I guess that's just not what George wants, really, and who knows why; probably he doesn't really know, himself.  Well, it's not the kind of life that would ever satisfy me, but I can't judge him on all that.  Doesn't seem like he's hurting anyone but himself; and apparently, he's not hurting too bad at that, says his voice is better than ever, and he's working on a new album, moving his creativity into new, exciting directions.  Well, I hope all that works out well for him; if nothing else, he's certainly paid the price of publicity and criticism. 

And though he says it's all good now, he may well have other prices to pay down the road; I can tell you from what I see going on here in rural Texas, which is the meth lab capital of the nation, that the drug life is bad business in the long run, very bad for ordinary folks.  And a lot of people get hurt terribly by it: not only the users, but also their friends, relatives, spouses, and kids.  I think drugs really have ruined this country.  But some people seem to live a charmed life.

Truth is, I guess in the end, if we have any spirit to us at all, we all do what we want - and what we want is what we need, deep down inside somewhere.  Like the famous ending line of Some Like It Hot, which I just watched again last night:

Nobody's perfect.

Which reminds me of another great ending line:

Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.

That ain't me, baby.  Nor you either, I reckon.

Honk to Joe.My.God.

The Scapegoat

Picture of a smoker. Is that so bad?

Returning to a topic I've blogged about several times before: the big nasty ridiculous double standard the world is all hung up on about tobacco.

At the moment, everyone but the most diehard social conservatives is laughing off Michael Phelps' marijuana use, and even the mainstream media fails to see anything to be upset about, as in this piece by the Canadian Press:

While there's no condoning what Phelps did, most of us understand that if anybody has earned the right to blow off some steam, it's him. Phelps has been in the pool nearly every day since age seven and his accomplishments, beginning with a national age-group record at 10, attest to how much he sacrificed, beginning with any semblance of a normal childhood. Consider, too, that the current president acknowledged in his own memoir that he experimented with drugs, waved them off as youthful indulgences and had no problems getting on with his life.

Just a youthful indulgence. Harmless as sugar candy. Not a problem. What's all the fuss about, ha, ha, ha.

And of course lots of people are hoping that this new era of Change will include relaxing the marijuana laws; and personally, I foresee within ten to twenty years it will be legalized everywhere in this country. You know that's where all this is going, don't you?

Well, okay. You want to chop up some dried plant leaves, roll them in paper, and smoke it, enjoy it - go right ahead, be my guest.

But then why - hypocrite - do you scowl and frown and look daggers at me when I do the very same thing with my tobacco? As if it's the worst sin ever in the whole world since the dawn of history.

On the Google News page tonight that featured the above article, this same article appears, from Reuters:

A Florida jury ruled on Thursday that a smoker's death was caused by his addiction to cigarettes, a legal setback for cigarette giant Philip Morris in the first of potentially thousands of cases to go to trial.

Here we go again. I thought we already had the ginormous tobacco trials back in the late 90's, a huge multi-billion dollar settlement spread out over all the states. Apparently that was not enough.

Do you see what's wrong with this picture? Marlboros - kinda like homosexuality - are destroying the world, horrors. Oh but marijuana - well that's just fine and dandy, like cotton candy.

Great Big Clue for anyone who hasn't figured it out yet: most of what's Right and Wrong is not carved in stone. The bulk of it simply comes down to majority vote at any point in time.

There are fashions in morality, and they are no more eternal than fashions in clothing, hair, and everything else. Changeable as the waves of the sea, back and forth. It's not whether something is Good or Bad - it's whether it's In or Out; that's the real foundation of most people's morality.

A hundred years ago right now, your great-grandparents in all likelihood were absolutely certain that alcohol was destroying the nation and the world, and they kept on and on about it until alcohol was prohibited in this country - by changing the Constitution of the United States.

Yet that was a huge failure, and a stupid move for several reasons. Now we look back and laugh at how silly our ancestors were, not noticing the family resemblance in the mirror.

So don't hit me with an attitude about my smokes, don't you dare. Go roll your joint, drink your booze, swill your five-bucks-a-cup coffee, drive your gas guzzler, max out your credit cards, stuff yourself to obesity - and leave me the hell alone.

You enjoy your life, I'll enjoy mine, and Phelps will enjoy his. After all, it's a free country - right?